BY Derek Walcott
The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
Tonight, God called to mind this image of a fire…refining the soul, burning away the dross until only the precious metal remained. That act of refining…is actually a process of refining, I think. There are things that God is calling me to give up today, that were never spoken about before. There are ways that God is asking me to act today that will be different from tomorrow’s work, but God is always molding us into our better selves.
Everyone isn’t being asked to give up cussing or gossip…sometimes God has bigger alters he needs to topple in our lives before he can get to those seemingly minor sins…but he’s never satisfied…won’t ever be satisfied until our whole selves, every corner of our hearts are submitted.
The pockets of resistance are not in the spiritual and physical worlds alone…the good king is attacking the pockets of resistance in man’s own heart. At God’s own pace and in God’s own time, God brings to light parts of our lives that don’t measure up. It is our choice whether or not to be obedient.
Not crumbling. Not irreparably shattered, but definitely cracked. Definitely broken sometimes. I would be lilting if I said the big D word never came out of my mouth, was never hurled at him in anger, in frustration. One more than one occasion, I have flirted with walking away and giving up on us. But I can’t stop this nagging sense that the brokenness actually resides inside of me…that no matter where I run or to whom, I will never ever be happy until I am happy with myself.
Last night week, Eric Garner. Yesterday, hostages taken in Sydney. Today, 100+ Pakistani school children slaughtered by the Taliban. My heart is breaking this Advent season and I’m also reminded, more and more, why our world still needs a Savior. #JesusChrist
“Sometimes I can feel my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living.”
—Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close